這個文章分類好久沒有新作了,趁著最近手上沒有翻譯案子(其實是閒到快要抓蝨母相咬),把臉書裡很有感覺的幾段文字翻譯一下,權充腦細胞運動。

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(哼歌 "One Day When We Were Young")

When I was younger I'd put my arms in my shirt and told people I lost my arms. I would restart the video game whenever I knew I was going to lose. I would sleep with all the stuffed animals so none of them would get offended. I had that one pen with 6 colors, and tried to push all the buttons at once. I poured my soda into the cap and acting like I was taking shots. I would wait behind a door to scare someone, but soon leave because they were taking too long or I had to pee. I would fake being asleep, so my dad would carry me to bed. I used to think that the moon followed my car. I would watch those two drops of rain roll down window and pretend it was a race. I used to swallow fruit seeds and get scared to death that a tree was going to grow in my tummy.

Remember when we were kids and couldn't wait to grow up? What were we thinking?

小時候,我...

會把手臂穿在衣服裡,只剩下空袖子,然後跟別人說我的手斷掉了。
打電動時如果發現要輸了,就乾脆重玩。
會跟全部的娃娃一起睡,免得它們覺得我偏心。
曾想把那枝六色原子筆上的六個按鈕同時按下去。
故意把汽水倒進杯子裡,然後假裝自己在喝酒。
曾躲在門後面想要嚇人,但是因為等太久或是想尿尿,只好自己跑掉。
會假裝睡著,好讓爸爸抱我上床。
總覺得月亮一直跟著我家的車子跑。
會觀察雨滴沿著窗戶滑下,想像它們在比賽。
會把水果的籽吞下肚,然後想到胃裡可能會長出一棵樹,又嚇得半死。

記得我們小時候老是等不及要長大嗎?我們那時到底在想什麼啊?

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(再來一段嚴肅一點的)

You don't need religion to have morals. If you can't determine right from wrong then you lack empathy, not religion.

倫理道德不需要宗教來規範。如果你無法辨別是非,那麼你缺乏的是同理心,而非宗教信仰。

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(最後這則嘛... 網友評論:「對自由工作者來說,的確是這樣。」咳咳...)

How to make money from facebook:
1. just go to "Account Settings"
2. press "deactivate your account"
3. go to work.

如何用臉書賺錢:
1. 先到「帳號設定」,按「帳號保安」。
2. 再按「停用你的帳號」。
3. 然後去工作。


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Chez Cécile

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